Episode 1: September 25th, 2018

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Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #1
PROVIDING ONLY THE BEST NEWS
25 September 2018

NEWS:

GUYS EATS SANDWICH [ALMOST DIED] [GONE WRONG]
written by reali (confirmed by shef kerbi)

A guy has just eaten a sandwich. That's right, a SANDWICH. We have confirmed that it was a peanut butter and jelly and banana and chocolate and potato chip sandwich. Witnesses also report that the guy might also have eaten some boiled eggs

GUY ALMOST [GAME ENDED] IN SNOWSTORM
written by Apple the Cat

there's gonna be a really b-bad-a really bad snowstorm tomorrow, r-uh, uh-really bad, be sure to pack up on warm and-oh wait that's the weatherman's job

POLICITICAL CARTOON TIME:

WEATHER:

Today: depending on whether or not you're around the city it'll be raining, but whether the rain will be heavy or light is yet to be confirmed. It'll still be overcast whether or not you're around the city, but whether the suburbs will get showers depends on whether or not the weather patterns go how we think they'll go.

Whether or not the temperature will be around the minimum of 13° or up at the maximum of 22° (C) will depend on the time of day.
Tomorrow: It's wet. Temperature is an output of [INVALID COLOR] f(x) = x + 15 where the domain is [INVALID COLOR] 0 ≤ x ≤ 8

This news has all been approved by Shef Kerbi