Episode 19: February 22nd, 2019
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Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #19
"This is 10% news, 90% ads and 100% reason to give us cash"
22 February 2018
UPDATE ON 2019 PARASITUS
Professor Gourd-oh has made an amazing discovery as to the nature of 2019 parasitus. Since "-itis" means swelling, it probably shouldn't be called "2019 parasitus". Professor Gourd-oh asks of you to refer to it in all further instances as "2019 parenthesis". More news about 2019 parasitus coming soon!
Some person has reported to the police that 3 strange individuals offering extremely unhelpful advice have shown up after she started playing a game of solitaire. As of right now we are unsure of these people's identities or motivations, although they claim that they "were just trying to help, I mean she kept missing all these obvious moves".
BREAKING (and sad) NEWS
Recently, while renovating the Shef Kerbi News Network Head Quarters, the server for the Shef Kerbi News Network website was destroyed. We are working on recovering it, but it may take a long time, or even never happen.
Edit: We're back online and our website's better than ever
In other news...
The meteor that recently hit Pop Stah was identified as Stoify (from before). The crater was approximately nobody cares inches in diameter.
So we told you Shef Kerbi News Network fans on our Scratch page that you could post anything with the #SKNN hashtag and you could end up in our paper! Here were some responses given to Shef Kerbi
Honestly, I think the whole Stoify situation is overrated. He's got a worp star. Big deal, I got one in my backyard right now!
The new SKNN logo and format sucks and I want Mexican Ghost Dad to make a comeback
JUSTye and TSM_Liquid_FaZe_Ninja said:
JUSTye: Bon Starbuckle should do this opionion column. I think it fits him
TSM_Liquid_FaZe_Ninja: Shef Kerbi should keep on doing it so that way he doesn't get lazy
If you would like to submit your own opinion, just go to our social media, on Twitter, Instagram or Scratch. But prefably Scratch because that's what everyone uses
Ask Bon And Bon's Cat The One After
What sound does a duck make when it files taxes?
Jimmy the Jokester
i don't know, what?
A strange green horned creature that identifies itself as "Yoemotoro" has challenged Stoify to a duel for some reason! They proceeded to ride a star off into the sunset.
Reali's Cool Comix
News but sports
Recently, a new soccer team was made: SDreem KLand NSoccer NTeam. People were confused about the name, but the team told them that there was a perfectly valid reason for it, before running away to practice. There are currently no upcoming games planned, but we will update you when there is one.
Today is a normal day. It's clear probably unless it's not in which case it's not. Max 24° min 19°
Tomorrow is a very not normal day jk it's still normal. It's rainy probably unless it's not. Max 21° min 13
Shef Kerbi News Network follows the guidelines and conventions set by the 1984 High Quality News Act of Dreem Lend, which states that any news published is to be of a high quality, is to remain unbiased and to show all sides of a news report, does not attack anyone, and protects the privacy of people whose identities don't want to be revealed.
If you would like to file a complaint regarding content use, please message SKNN through our Scratch account. We also have a Twitter and Instagram account if you prefer.
Shef Kerbi News Network respects the ancestors of Cappy Town, and understands that they are the reason why Dreem Lend exists.
Shef Kerbi News Network is proud to be a subsidiary of Shef Werld
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